Kendra LeeAnne posted…
I believe one of the biggest problems in the church is the idolization of marriage and motherhood:
When marriage is treated like the pinnacle of life, as if we haven’t “arrived” until we’ve been married, that we can’t fulfill our duty to the Lord if we’re single, or that singleness should only be a “waiting season”, then we’re turning marriage into something it was never meant to be. We’re also treating unmarried women as “lesser than” or as if their lives can’t possibly be fulfilling if they aren’t married.
When motherhood is treated as the ultimate calling for all women, we’re reducing them to merely vessels and not image-bearers who have value simply because they’re a human being. We’re also treating women who aren’t mothers as if they are “lesser than” or their life can’t possibly be fulfilling if they aren’t mothers.
There are many women mentioned in the Bible whose identities are known because of what they did for the Lord, not whether they were mothers or not – Deborah, Esther, Anna, Mary Magdalene, Lydia, and Priscilla are just a few. Their identities were in God, not in their titles.
Marriage and motherhood should not be the ultimate goal for Christ followers. Our goal should be to bring glory to God no matter our marital status or if we’re a mother.
Women are not more worthy when they become wives.
Women are not more holy when they become mothers.
God doesn’t love wives more.
God doesn’t favor mothers.
Kendra’s post resonates with me because so much of the modern church seems to center its conversations about women around marriage and motherhood, or around young singles.
For most of my years in the church, I fit neatly into those categories. I was a wife and a mother. But now I’m a widow, and my children are grown. It’s a very different feeling.
I don’t say that as a criticism of the church or of marriage and motherhood. Those roles have been deeply meaningful parts of my life. But I’ve come to realize that when those identities are so often emphasized, there can be an unexpected sense of, “Where do I fit?”
And I think women who aren’t coupled or mothers need to be reminded of what Kendra said so beautifully: “Our identity was never ultimately found in our titles.”
Wife. Single. Mother. Stepmom. Aunt. Widow. Grandmother. Whatever our circumstances may be, we are first and foremost women made in the image of God, deeply loved by Him and still called to live meaningful, purposeful lives for His glory.
That is a message I think women need to hear at every stage of life.