A friend recently posted something that really struck me. She asked: “Do we want our names written in lights more than we want our names written in the Lamb’s Book of Life? Do we seek influence more than we desire to influence people for the Kingdom of God? Do we crave the praise of man more than the presence and glory of God? Do we want to make our own name known—or make known the One who gave His life for us?“
Those questions lingered with me because, if we are honest, most of us have wrestled with some version of this. We all want to be loved. We all want to matter. We all want to feel seen, appreciated, and understood.
But what happens when the approval fades, people misunderstand us, or the very people who once celebrated us quietly step away?
What I have learned through the years—sometimes painfully—is that people are human. They love quickly and, at times, pull away just as quickly. They can admire one season of our lives and misunderstand the next. Sometimes they place expectations on us we were never meant to carry, or put us on pedestals we never asked to stand on. And when we inevitably show our humanity, disappointment can follow.
I have lived this out more times than I can count. I have been misunderstood. I have had assumptions made about me, intentions questioned, and rumors or gossip shape opinions before anyone ever asked me for my side of the story. I have disappointed people simply by being human—by not reacting the way they expected or not handling something perfectly.
An impossible hurdle to overcome is not fitting the version of you that someone has created in their mind.
Many of us have experienced it. I certainly have. It hurts when this happens, especially when you care deeply.
But somewhere along the way, I learned something freeing: my worth cannot be placed in the hands of other people.
- If I build my identity on praise, then criticism will crush me.
- If I root my value in acceptance, then rejection will define me.
- If my confidence comes from people understanding me, then misunderstandings will unravel me.
The truth is, people’s opinions change. Attention shifts. Applause comes and goes. Even influence has an expiration date. But none of those things were ever meant to be the foundation of our worth.
Our worth comes from God.
It comes from the One who created us, knows us fully, and loves us completely anyway. The One who sees the parts of us others misunderstand and still calls us beloved. The One who never expected perfection from us, only surrender.
Scripture reminds us that our identity is not found in what others say about us, but in the One to whom we belong.
At the end of the day, I don’t want to spend my life chasing attention that’s elusive, or approval that shifts with the wind. I want my heart anchored in something eternal. I want to remember that being known by God matters infinitely more than being known by people.
People are fickle, but Jesus remains.
And my worth is in Him alone.
However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven. — Luke 10:20