I was listening to a podcast with Dr. Jordan B. Peterson and Dr. John Delony entitled “Childhood Trauma Resolved,” but the interesting thing to me wasn’t about childhood trauma. It was that Dr. Peterson recommended that to help with isolation, use Benjamin Franklin’s tip: ask your neighbor for a simple favor, and that starts the reciprocal trade moving in the proper direction. People like to be of service. And you put yourself in their debt, and then you can see if they are positive and caring.
However, John stopped him dead cold and said, “that’s a revolution, it’s counter-cultural.” And, I was totally in agreement. Yes, it IS! It’s against our current culture to meet our neighbors and make friends. It’s a revolution to seek human friendship and relationship.
John further says to “go first.” Be the first to invite someone over. Be the first to initiate a social situation.
I LOVE the revolution of meeting neighbors! I found out first hand that it works! A few years ago, I moved to a new community as a widow, in a different town and not knowing anyone. I began by organizing a community get-together. We had about 15 people show up, and those have become the core group of my neighbors who are active in other get-togethers, our Facebook page, and the HOA.
I’m an introvert by nature, but my late husband who was an ‘extrovert on steroids’ made me an extroverted introvert. I get nervous in social situations, but I can lead groups. So about 20 yrs ago, I started leading Bible studies and Christian small groups. That has blossomed into a core group of women with whom I’ve very tight, and I got a BFF, to boot! (Of course, before my hubby died, he was my REAL BFF, while she’s always been my gal pal BFF. And I think your marriage must be wanting if your spouse isn’t your BFF!)
I’m fortunate and blessed, but I have also put in the real work to create relationships! People just don’t show up in your life, you have to seek them out. Especially when it’s hard!