A woman posted on LinkedIn that her brother died unexpectedly at the age of 46 leaving behind a wife and three small children.
So, as I’m wont to do, I gave her sympathy followed with practical advice. (I kinda know the territory.)
Here’s my comment: I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. Praying for the entire family. As a widow hitting the year mark, this strikes home.
Be there for your sis-in-law. She needs all the support she can get. She needs help with the mountains of legal and financial paperwork and enormous tasks that are going to come her way. She needs an advocate to tell her what to do next in a gentle, loving way. People will ask if they can help, and she will decline bc she has no earthly idea what she needs. But, she needs help.
Her world has just ended. Every single aspect of her life has changed from how she makes dinner to what she does on Saturday night to how she drinks coffee or watches TV or takes care of the kids, etc. Everywhere she goes in the house, his absence is clear. Every interaction with the kids, his absence is clear.
Now, everyone is rushing to her, to comfort and console and watch the kids. But, in a few weeks or a few months, those people go away. They return to their lives and might even expect her to be “over it.” You never get “over it.” You don’t move on, you move forward. Friends that are couples will become reluctant to ask a single woman to join them. She will soon learn who her real friends are. Be there for her.